For the longest time I dedicated my life to others. What does that mean? I would push my wants and even needs to the side to make sure the people around me are okay. As a mother, sometimes I thinkkk that is just how we are wired....to be caretakers, bnut it doesn't seem to just stop with the kids. Somehow we are everyone's mother in almost all relationships. I find myself thinking waaaaay more about someone else's feelings our their outcomes and minimizing my own to nothing most of the time. That's not healthy. Although I'm still working on it, I have absolutely begun the process of putting myself first. And yes, I may feel guilty initially, but it also feels really good at the same time.
just for me
First off, don't think that "me time' has to be something that costs an arm and a leg. As a matter of fact, it doesn't have to cost anything. In the past, spending money on myself was for sure one of the things that I would feel guilty about and ultimately became the reason I would deny myself. Constantly over analyzing every senario.....do I really need this? Do I even deserve it? Ultimately talking myself out of every equation so someone else could benefit instead. Don't get me wrong, some of this is just my personality and I like being a "giver," but as I'm getting older I understand just how important giving to me is.
So what do I do?
A couple of months ago, I starting doing something weekly called "Friday Night Wind Down." I work really hard all week....FACT! Friday evening has ALWAYS been my favorite because that's when I end my work week and relax. But not too long ago I wawnted to kick things up a notch and make that time a little more special. Yes, I already look forward to that time all week but now we my upgrades I really can't wait! So now ion Friday evening, usually right after I make the last post office run before they close at 5, I prepare myself and entire spread of delicious foods, grab a nice bottle of wine and indulge. I went out and bought myself a really cute and sturdy serving tray that I could bring back to my room, and so I basically have "room service' in my bedroom. I either, enjoy a book or a good movie to unwind from the laborous week. And I mean, i go all out for myself and make it really special. I love it so much, I find myself planning my menue for Friday evening all week long with so much anticipation that when the day arrives I can't hardly contain myself and the inudulgence! So let's get this straight, I basically make a really nice meal and set it up all fancy so I can lay across my bed and eat it. LOL! But it makes me feel really special and for that....I'm WINNING! Here are a couple of the spreads I've done for my "Friday Night Wind Down" relaxing evenings.
This is just one thing that I do, but like I said before, you don't need to hardly spend any extra money "pampering" yourself. Some other things ido that are just for me AND don't cost much of anything are:
-read a book
-sleep in a few extra hours, undesturbed
-watch a movie
-go on a walk
-listen to music/dance
-paint or do something creative
-write in a gratitude journal
Of course, you can indulge a little more. Maybe schedule a day at the spa, get your nails done, go out to dinner (alone, try it!), catch a show at the theatre.....there are so many things you can do fo yourself and by yourself to enjoy just yourself!
Obviously it's okay to do these things with someone else, but I think it's important to find things to do that just for hyou and by yourself. The other day I was talkin gto a friend who is coming out of a long term relationship and she was saying how she feels like she doesn't even know who she is anymore. As we discussed the topic further, she relaized that once she began the realitionship, she noticed how she slowly stopped doing all the things she used to do that made her happy. The next thing she knew, she was only doing the things her partner wanted to do and they were always with him. Well now that the relationship is coming to an end, my friend finds herself feeling lost and now going through the process of finding herself again. As we talked, we both came to the ujnderstanding of just how important "me time' is no matter what stage of life you're in. And that's why in some ways, I think doing things alone is one of the BEST ways to discover (or rediscover) who you are or maybe uncover your new passion.
I'm really serious about "me time!" Now you know that Friday evening has become my reward after a long hard week of work. Like I said before, I go all in for ME! I've been sharing my Friday spreads on with my online family and it looks like I have inspired many of you to do the same. I usually get several comments and lots of private messages from people on how this idea has motivated them to do something similar for themselves. Yes, I made this a WHOLE THING and it brings me so much JOY and PEACE after a long week of slaving. What do you do regularly that's just for YOU? How do you say "Thank You" to yourself for showing up all week? If you haven't already, I would highly suggest regularly scheduled "me time" sessions and see how much of a benefit putting you FIRST can be!!!
Chaka Clutch: Enchanted
Petal Leather Earrings: Blush
Leather Chunky Ring: Blush
Tiny Leather Ring: White
host a show
Last year I was blessed to be able to travel with THE GREY BUTTON to several cities and share my work. I enjoyed every bit of it! This year I would love to revisit those same cities as well as visit some new ones. If you would like to host a pop-up shop/bag party in MARYLAND or Southern CALIFORNIA, please let me know! This is the year of expansion and I'm going to need your help!
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All images in this blog post were captured by Ray Howard of