For the longest time I dedicated my life to others. What does that mean? I would push my wants and even needs to the side to make sure the people around me are okay. As a mother, sometimes I thinkkk that is just how we are wired....to be caretakers, bnut it doesn't seem to just stop with the kids. Somehow we are everyone's mother in almost all relationships. I find myself thinking waaaaay more about someone else's feelings our their outcomes and minimizing my own to nothing most of the time. That's not healthy. Although I'm still working on it, I have absolutely begun the process of putting myself first. And yes, I may feel guilty initially, but it also feels really good at the same time.
just for me
First off, don't think that "me time' has to be something that costs an arm and a leg. As a matter of fact, it doesn't have to cost anything. In the past, spending money on myself was for sure one of the things that I would feel guilty about and ultimately became the reason I would deny myself. Constantly over analyzing every senario.....do I really need this? Do I even deserve it? Ultimately talking myself out of every equation so someone else could benefit instead. Don't get me wrong, some of this is just my personality and I like being a "giver," but as I'm getting older I understand just how important giving to me is.
So what do I do?
A couple of months ago, I starting doing something weekly called "Friday Night Wind Down." I work really hard all week....FACT! Friday evening has ALWAYS been my favorite because that's when I end my work week and relax. But not too long ago I wawnted to kick things up a notch and make that time a little more special. Yes, I already look forward to that time all week but now we my upgrades I really can't wait! So now ion Friday evening, usually right after I make the last post office run before they close at 5, I prepare myself and entire spread of delicious foods, grab a nice bottle of wine and indulge. I went out and bought myself a really cute and sturdy serving tray that I could bring back to my room, and so I basically have "room service' in my bedroom. I either, enjoy a book or a good movie to unwind from the laborous week. And I mean, i go all out for myself and make it really special. I love it so much, I find myself planning my menue for Friday evening all week long with so much anticipation that when the day arrives I can't hardly contain myself and the inudulgence! So let's get this straight, I basically make a really nice meal and set it up all fancy so I can lay across my bed and eat it. LOL! But it makes me feel really special and for that....I'm WINNING! Here are a couple of the spreads I've done for my "Friday Night Wind Down" relaxing evenings.