Like most children I was taught to "treat others the way you want to be treated." It took me being an adult to fully understand that Bible verse. No where does it say that by doing so, I would be guaranteed the same treatment in return. Boy was that a tough lesson to learn but I totally get it!
No one wants to be mistreated, right? This is the reason I try my BEST to genuinely treat people the way I want to be treated. I feel favored in God's eyes, and although it's not my motivation, the hope is that my actions would be reflected. Even though I'm aware that I may not get the same consideration, the seasoned me continues nevertheless. Life has its own way of teaching lessons and sometimes it takes being mistreated to fully comprehend how I should be treating the people around me.
Several years ago I went through a rough patch. I hated my job, wasn't connecting with my family, and all around not feeling my best about the direction of my life. I'm sure most people have had similar feelings so I know it's not THAT abnormal. However, I was not prepared for the lonliness that soon followed. And because I felt like I was always available to everyone, of course I assumed they would all be available to me in my time of need and they were not. You see when you're a person that's always considering someone else's feelings, it's difficult to stomach that fact that those same peoplejust don't consider yours in the same manner. Unanswered phone calls and texts, missed events and the fact that no one is popping in to ask, "how how are YOU doing?" easily wanted to turn into resentment There was a part of me that thought about lashing back and saying, "well........I'm not going to be there for them anymore, then..." But I was reminded of that old Bible verse and one day really sat and thought about what that verse meant. It didn't say, "treat others how they treat you".......so if I retaliate by adapting their ways......I'm becoming the very person I'm complaining about....THEM! I decided right then and there, I will NOT let someone else change me because of who they are. Don't be confused, that doesn't mean that I roll over accept mistreatment, but I will approach the relationship with LOVE, even if that means walking away to allow space and healing. It was like I had an epiphany......it's time for me to SHOW UP for me! Rather than looking to everyone else, I needed to be there for myself!
LIFE CHANGING!
I had a conversation the other day with my really good friend that left me so full. You know, one of those long discussions about life in general. The both of us were reflecting on just how much "stuff" 2018 threw at us but also how much we've grown as a result.
There was a moment where I had to pause and genuinely thank her for always showing up as my friend whenever I've needed her. And she expressed the same gratitude. We had lost touch for years but the last 5-6 years have made our friendship stronger than ever! I'm so incredibly blessed to now have a handful of people in my life that fits the mold of a true friend. I like to believe it's because I not only decided to SHOW UP for myself but I also made sure to continue to show up for them too! During the sunshine or when it's storming, I'm there with open arms.........and with NO judgement!
YOU MUST DO THE WORK
In order to be available to my circle I knew I had to make sure I was taken care of first. And so I began a journey of self love and care. What does that mean? Well, it means being a little selfish. Getting real with yourself in identifying what you need and actually doing the work to bring that peace in your life. Wow, what a transformation! SHOWING UP for YOU is just as, if not more important than being there for someone else. I know I still have more to grow but I"m so excited about the my future!
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I will be sharing more of my journey on how I change my WHOLE LIFE from the inside out.... LIVE on INSTAGRAM with Piper Grigs this Tuesday, December 18th.
"We say we want change, but do we do what we need to do? This may include getting help in order to make the necessary changes." . "This is about change not just in how you look but how you feel and live to to enhance your whole wellbeing." . Join us Tuesday December 18th at 9pm E.S.T./6pm P.S.T.
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All images in this blog post were captured by Ray Howard of